Staccato introduction: Kids going home alone. Them imitating what they see in Cartoon and Video games. Staying out passed curfew. Are these Examples of how good parents should be?
Hypothtical Introduction- Imagine if today’s kids didn’t have good parents to raise them and show them from right and wrong. Without a good parent role model for kids then we could only hope for a great future for these kids.
Alberto: Good start. Your stacatto intro would flow better if it had paralell structure. For eample: Kids going home alone. Kids imitating what they see in cartoons. Kids staying out past curfew.
Really focus on your thesis statement. Remember, the thesis is the point you're trying to make, and it is not your hook!
Sven: I like what you've done so far, but I'd like to see a little more work to take your work from a hypothetical sentence to a hypothetical scenario intro. That means it needs more development as a "story"!
Staccato introduction:
ReplyDeleteKids going home alone. Them imitating what they see in Cartoon and Video games. Staying out passed curfew. Are these Examples of how good parents should be?
Hypothtical Introduction- Imagine if today’s kids didn’t have good parents to raise them and show them from right and wrong. Without a good parent role model for kids then we could only hope for a great future for these kids.
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ReplyDeleteAlberto: Good start. Your stacatto intro would flow better if it had paralell structure. For eample: Kids going home alone. Kids imitating what they see in cartoons. Kids staying out past curfew.
ReplyDeleteReally focus on your thesis statement. Remember, the thesis is the point you're trying to make, and it is not your hook!
Sven: I like what you've done so far, but I'd like to see a little more work to take your work from a hypothetical sentence to a hypothetical scenario intro. That means it needs more development as a "story"!
ReplyDeleteAlberto: Your personal narrative is on the right track but needs to be developed and it needs a thesis! Please rework and repost.
ReplyDelete